Reflections
Rejecting positive experiences by insisting that they “don’t count”. Having thoughts that say “it wasn’t good enough” or that “anyone could have done as good” when you clearly did a good job - these are examples of discounting the positive. Discounting steals the positives and rips the joy out of life making you feel inadequate and unrewarded.
Choosing a single negative detail and dwelling on it exclusively, so that your vision or reality becomes darkened. Have you ever received numerous compliments on preparing a beautiful meal and the only thing you focus on is that the carrots were over cooked? Obsession on the soft carrots keeps us from receiving all the beautiful, loving and positive comments.
Would you like to see the light in your reality?
Would you like to learn how to let go of dwelling on the negative and learn to see the positive?
A clue is using words such as “always” or “never”. I recall a Pastor saying to the congregation to be careful not to use the word “always”. These statements of “You always, or You never”. My husband Hal and I have been careful ever since. Catching each other and more importantly, catching ourselves.
Watch for making “mountains out of molehills” this is more over generalization. Keep situations right sized and not blow them out of proportion.
Seeing a single negative event such as a career interruption or an invitation rejection, as a never-ending pattern or defeat.
How often do you use the words “always” or “never”?
What kind of damage do these words cause to those we love?
When I experience these defeats, how can I self soothe?
Imagine looking in the mirror at yourself…
What’s the first thing you think of when you see your reflection?
Is it of love, kindness, joy, or peace?
This first thought is a part of our internal conversation, or our story.
How do you speak to yourself?
Rewiring my thinking by focusing on what I’m good at, what my strengths are and what I have to offer changes how I think about myself and the world around me.
This hasn’t always been my story. From the time I was a little girl, I can remember feeling there was something wrong with me, I wasn’t smart enough, good enough, and certainly didn’t fit in.
My family wasn’t ‘normal’ therefore I wasn’t ‘normal’. I escaped into a story of fantasy, going into a place of my mind where there was no pain, negativity, hurt, loss, fear. Or swinging to the direct opposite into imagined catastrophe and fortune-telling into “what if”… predicting that everything will turnout badly.
This is some of ‘stinkin thinkin’. My thoughts had taken on an unhealthy attitude, one that was working against me, not serving me, often irrational. This ‘stinkin thinkin’ created so many unrealistic expectations of myself and of those I loved. I was unmanageable in all of my relationships.
Have you ever heard of ‘stinkin thinkin’?
Maybe you experience ‘stinkin thinkin’?
How do you know if you have ‘stinkin thinkin’?
Want to learn how to stop ‘stinkin thinkin’?